Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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