Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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