I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife š¬
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Some sorority went āDick or Treatingā at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
