Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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