Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
