when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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