i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
even my farts smell like vagina
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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