I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize