I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
