Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
