roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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