what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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