i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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