Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
