I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
