3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
