Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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