Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
