Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
