dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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