did you get engaged???
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
