Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
