so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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