I puked a lego.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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