But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Text me some of your sweat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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