rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
