he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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