Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
