so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
