the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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