i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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