Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
