you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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