i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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