why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
