Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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