i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
