went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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