I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
