It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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