six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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