i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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