what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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