You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
