i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
