can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
