So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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