i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
