So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
