Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
