sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
