i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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