shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
