Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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