I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
