I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
