Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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