Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
