I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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