fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
